Fandom: FFXV
Pairing: Ignoct - Ignis/Noctis
Audience: General
Category: m/m
Warnings: grief & loss
----------------------------
He could barely remember stumbling back to the Regalia, let alone slipping across the backseat and closing his eyes. The gentle whir of the engine stirred him from his nightmare thoughts and through the haze of his vision, soft light filtered through rain-stained windows. His eyelids blinked as his immediate world came into focus.
Water droplets streaked like clear snakes in errant paths down the glass. Flashes of light invaded the backseat as they passed rest stops along their way to a haven, a place where he could rest and replenish his energy for the day—for the fight to come.
He swallowed the lump in his throat and realized it was sore. He’d been holding back so much after confirming the death of his father and the overtaking of his city. He must’ve been screaming silently in his sleep. He winced and sighed as another flash of light hit his eyes.
That’s when he felt it, the arm resting over him, the hand gently laid upon his chest. He could hear soft murmurings of conversation from the front seat—glimpses of Prompto’s blonde hair and the gravelly timbre of Gladio’s voice. The hand that held him bore a particular glove he recognized and, despite everything, a slight smile crept to his lips. He closed his eyes and melted against him, feeling the muscles in his thigh flex as he shifted.
“We still have a ways to go,” Ignis’s gentle voice whispered, and another hand touched the top of his head, stroking it once before resting on the crown. “You’ve been out since we left Insomnia.”
He swallowed another lump in his throat as he fought to keep the emotions from spilling. The windshield wipers invoked a steady rhythm as the rain fell. He reached for the hand on his torso and laced his fingers within it. The hand tenderly clasped his.
“Take this in your own time. Whatever you need, I am here.”
The words were so simple, but they soothed him like nothing else in that moment. He drank them in and let it sink into his being, wrapping him up, comforting him in the wake of the sadness that sought to overtake him.
The world had changed. Everything was different now.
He was King.
The look on his dad’s face sprung forth to his mind’s eye. He felt the touch of his father’s hand upon his shoulder all over again. Those words—insisting him to ‘walk tall’.
As if sensing his internal distress, the hand atop his head stroked his hair once more and he melted. He squeezed Ignis’s hand as his body trembled, fighting the tears that threatened to fall. He couldn’t let any of them see him so low. He knew they would understand, but he didn’t want their looks of pity. He had pity enough for himself.
He needed this. This solace. This would hold for now.
He swallowed again and parted his lips. “Stay with me,” he whispered. The sound of his own voice sounded foreign to him.
His pillow, that of Ignis’s thigh, tensed as his retainer shifted and he blinked open his eyes. He looked up to find familiar bespectacled green eyes staring down at him. At the comforting sight, a slight smile touched the edges of his lips.
“What was that?” Ignis whispered. The softness in his voice consoling him all the more.
“Stay with me,” he said, bringing his voice just above a whisper as he tightened his grip and squeezed those fingers interlaced with his own.
A smile appeared and, for a moment, it gave him hope that all the goodness in this world was not yet lost. That there was still someone he could count on. He knew he held the support of all of his men, but this one was different. He never had to bolster Ignis’s confidence or prove himself to him.
He could just be.
He watched as Ignis leaned over and he closed his eyes. The soft press of lips met his and he melted, the loving gesture fighting back the sadness that clung tight to him. The grip on his heart loosened and he could breathe.
“But of course,” Ignis whispered, at last breaking the kiss. “Get some rest, Noct. You’re going to need it.”
The gentle squeeze of his hand anew reminded him of his purpose, his new role in this messed up world. He sighed and slowly nodded. The engine purred quietly as they made their way along the roads, hoping the light of the street lamps would keep the daemons at bay until they reached the nearest haven. He wanted a bed, but he knew he needed to restore his energy, his powers—now more than ever. He needed to be ready for the fight ahead.
The only solace would be Ignis’s cooking.
And his embrace as he slept.
He shifted his body and got comfortable against his retainer. Using that muscled thigh as an interim pillow, its warmth reassured him he would be okay. He would find a way to fight the darkness seeking to overtake this land. He would make sure no one knew this torment—this loss—wrought of a country’s desire for control over all.
A bright light shone through the backseat window and he winced, placing an arm over his eyes to shield them from further pain. Everything hurt. He was emotionally drained and sorely needed respite. He didn’t know where this road would take him, but he knew, as long as he had his men with him they would find their way together.
And yet, he would never see his father again.
His body trembled as sadness shook him anew. Ignis’s hand returned to stroking his head. It was too much. Tears slipped from his eyes as he silently cried. His throat tightened as he struggled to keep the sounds of his anguish from filling the quiet of the car.
A hand moved his arm away. Tears stained his cheeks as he stared up at Ignis, silently imploring him for help. His retainer bent. Warm lips pressed against his forehead and he closed his eyes. The trembling of his body subsided. He could breathe once again.
“You’re safe. You’re okay.”
He nodded, swallowing hard and wiped at his eyes with the back of his arm. “I just don’t know if I can do this.”
A tender smile appeared on Ignis’s lips. “You will. You’re stronger than you know, Noct.”
He sniffled and truly smiled at his words. “I hope you’re right, Iggy. For all of us.”
Lips pressed to his forehead once more and the tension in his muscles eased, mollified by the tender touch.
“Rest your mind and your heart.”
He shifted his body, burying his face into Ignis’s stomach. He breathed in and exhaled all the sadness, anger, and guilt seeking to overwhelm him. His eyes closed and he focused on Ignis’s steady breathing. The sadness drifted into the background. Instead of a roar, it’d become a dull murmur. A gloved hand touched his face and he drifted off as the Regalia continued ever onward through the rainy night.
Water droplets streaked like clear snakes in errant paths down the glass. Flashes of light invaded the backseat as they passed rest stops along their way to a haven, a place where he could rest and replenish his energy for the day—for the fight to come.
He swallowed the lump in his throat and realized it was sore. He’d been holding back so much after confirming the death of his father and the overtaking of his city. He must’ve been screaming silently in his sleep. He winced and sighed as another flash of light hit his eyes.
That’s when he felt it, the arm resting over him, the hand gently laid upon his chest. He could hear soft murmurings of conversation from the front seat—glimpses of Prompto’s blonde hair and the gravelly timbre of Gladio’s voice. The hand that held him bore a particular glove he recognized and, despite everything, a slight smile crept to his lips. He closed his eyes and melted against him, feeling the muscles in his thigh flex as he shifted.
“We still have a ways to go,” Ignis’s gentle voice whispered, and another hand touched the top of his head, stroking it once before resting on the crown. “You’ve been out since we left Insomnia.”
He swallowed another lump in his throat as he fought to keep the emotions from spilling. The windshield wipers invoked a steady rhythm as the rain fell. He reached for the hand on his torso and laced his fingers within it. The hand tenderly clasped his.
“Take this in your own time. Whatever you need, I am here.”
The words were so simple, but they soothed him like nothing else in that moment. He drank them in and let it sink into his being, wrapping him up, comforting him in the wake of the sadness that sought to overtake him.
The world had changed. Everything was different now.
He was King.
The look on his dad’s face sprung forth to his mind’s eye. He felt the touch of his father’s hand upon his shoulder all over again. Those words—insisting him to ‘walk tall’.
As if sensing his internal distress, the hand atop his head stroked his hair once more and he melted. He squeezed Ignis’s hand as his body trembled, fighting the tears that threatened to fall. He couldn’t let any of them see him so low. He knew they would understand, but he didn’t want their looks of pity. He had pity enough for himself.
He needed this. This solace. This would hold for now.
He swallowed again and parted his lips. “Stay with me,” he whispered. The sound of his own voice sounded foreign to him.
His pillow, that of Ignis’s thigh, tensed as his retainer shifted and he blinked open his eyes. He looked up to find familiar bespectacled green eyes staring down at him. At the comforting sight, a slight smile touched the edges of his lips.
“What was that?” Ignis whispered. The softness in his voice consoling him all the more.
“Stay with me,” he said, bringing his voice just above a whisper as he tightened his grip and squeezed those fingers interlaced with his own.
A smile appeared and, for a moment, it gave him hope that all the goodness in this world was not yet lost. That there was still someone he could count on. He knew he held the support of all of his men, but this one was different. He never had to bolster Ignis’s confidence or prove himself to him.
He could just be.
He watched as Ignis leaned over and he closed his eyes. The soft press of lips met his and he melted, the loving gesture fighting back the sadness that clung tight to him. The grip on his heart loosened and he could breathe.
“But of course,” Ignis whispered, at last breaking the kiss. “Get some rest, Noct. You’re going to need it.”
The gentle squeeze of his hand anew reminded him of his purpose, his new role in this messed up world. He sighed and slowly nodded. The engine purred quietly as they made their way along the roads, hoping the light of the street lamps would keep the daemons at bay until they reached the nearest haven. He wanted a bed, but he knew he needed to restore his energy, his powers—now more than ever. He needed to be ready for the fight ahead.
The only solace would be Ignis’s cooking.
And his embrace as he slept.
He shifted his body and got comfortable against his retainer. Using that muscled thigh as an interim pillow, its warmth reassured him he would be okay. He would find a way to fight the darkness seeking to overtake this land. He would make sure no one knew this torment—this loss—wrought of a country’s desire for control over all.
A bright light shone through the backseat window and he winced, placing an arm over his eyes to shield them from further pain. Everything hurt. He was emotionally drained and sorely needed respite. He didn’t know where this road would take him, but he knew, as long as he had his men with him they would find their way together.
And yet, he would never see his father again.
His body trembled as sadness shook him anew. Ignis’s hand returned to stroking his head. It was too much. Tears slipped from his eyes as he silently cried. His throat tightened as he struggled to keep the sounds of his anguish from filling the quiet of the car.
A hand moved his arm away. Tears stained his cheeks as he stared up at Ignis, silently imploring him for help. His retainer bent. Warm lips pressed against his forehead and he closed his eyes. The trembling of his body subsided. He could breathe once again.
“You’re safe. You’re okay.”
He nodded, swallowing hard and wiped at his eyes with the back of his arm. “I just don’t know if I can do this.”
A tender smile appeared on Ignis’s lips. “You will. You’re stronger than you know, Noct.”
He sniffled and truly smiled at his words. “I hope you’re right, Iggy. For all of us.”
Lips pressed to his forehead once more and the tension in his muscles eased, mollified by the tender touch.
“Rest your mind and your heart.”
He shifted his body, burying his face into Ignis’s stomach. He breathed in and exhaled all the sadness, anger, and guilt seeking to overwhelm him. His eyes closed and he focused on Ignis’s steady breathing. The sadness drifted into the background. Instead of a roar, it’d become a dull murmur. A gloved hand touched his face and he drifted off as the Regalia continued ever onward through the rainy night.
